Hitting "playfully"
What it is
Hits hidden behind laughter. If it hurts, it isn't play. If only one of you is laughing, it isn't play. If it keeps going after you say stop, it isn't play.
How it gets justified
“We're playing — don't be a buzzkill.”
If only one of you is laughing, it isn't play. If it keeps going after you say stop, it isn't play. The body clocked an aggression. The laughter wrapping doesn't change what landed.
“I didn't even hit you that hard.”
Force isn't the criterion. The criterion is whether the line was crossed. The body doesn't measure pounds of pressure — it tracks whether it was respected.
Related patterns
Something feels off but you can't name it?
An exercise to listen to what the body already knows.