Touch that hurts
What it is
Physical contact dressed up as affection that actually hurts, presses, or makes you uncomfortable. "It's affection" when it's gripping too hard. "It's playful" when it leaves marks.
How it gets justified
“This is how I show affection.”
Affection doesn't leave marks. Affection doesn't grip harder than the other body can take. If it hurts, it isn't affection — it's physical dominance dressed as intimacy.
“You're so delicate — you can't handle anything.”
Your pain threshold isn't the issue. The issue is someone crossing your body's limits and blaming you for noticing the crossing.
Related patterns
Something feels off but you can't name it?
An exercise to listen to what the body already knows.