Grooming
What it is
A slow build of trust with someone — usually a minor or someone vulnerable — to exploit or abuse them later. Can happen in person or online.
Does this sound familiar?
How it gets justified
“You're more mature than the rest — I can really talk to you.”
This isn't recognition of maturity. It's an isolation tactic — making the person feel chosen, special, separate from their peers. The minor's body reads that attention as safety, and that reading is exactly what the abuser is using.
“This is our secret — nobody else would understand.”
The secret doesn't protect the relationship. It protects the abuser. The point is to keep the people who could spot the pattern away from the information.
Often escalates toward
When a behavior stays unnamed, the nervous system stops registering it as alarm — and the door opens to what comes next.
Related patterns
Something feels off but you can't name it?
An exercise to listen to what the body already knows.