Death threats
What it is
Saying they're going to kill you, kill themselves, or kill someone close to you. Every death threat has to be taken seriously. It's an indicator of extreme risk.
How it gets justified
“I said it without thinking — you know I'd never.”
Death threats always have to be taken seriously. The body can't process "I'd never really" — it registers the threat as real because it is real. Every death threat is an extreme-risk indicator.
“If you leave me, I'll kill myself.”
This isn't love. It's the most extreme control move there is: making your exit the cause of their death. The body gets caught between two threats — stay with the violence, or leave with the guilt. Getting out of this trap takes professional help.
Related patterns
If this is happening now, get help.
These behaviors put your life at risk. You don't have to face this alone.
See emergency resourcesSomething feels off but you can't name it?
An exercise to listen to what the body already knows.