Ridicule
What it is
Mocking how you look, how you talk, what you think, how you feel — in front of others or in private. Gets normalized as "that's just how we are" or "I'm telling you for your own good."
Does this sound familiar?
How it gets justified
“I tell you because I love you — somebody has to be honest with you.”
Honesty doesn't require humiliation. This isn't honesty — it's truth used as a weapon. The superiority of putting you down is what stabilizes the other person.
“It's just our dynamic — we tease each other.”
Teasing only works when both people are laughing. If only one of you laughs and the other goes quiet, it isn't a dynamic — it's normalized submission.
Often escalates toward
When a behavior stays unnamed, the nervous system stops registering it as alarm — and the door opens to what comes next.
Related patterns
Something feels off but you can't name it?
An exercise to listen to what the body already knows.